Lately I have been feeling an unbelievable need to nurture. Here me out.
I have ALWAYS known that I want kids some day. It's never been, "well maybe someday, we will see."
NO I have always known that I would get married and reproduce. That's just the way things work, right? When we first got married I thought we would wait a year or two before having kids, no big deal. When that first year came to an end I felt nowhere near ready.
Well in the last few months it has crossed my mind alot more and the more and more I think about it, the more I feel like I can do this now. Well the second I decided its a definite possibility, it's like motherhood has been haunting me! Seriously!
Everywhere I look there are BABIES! Mothers with babies and fathers with babies! It's like all of a sudden I have noticed (or I am imagining things) that everyone in around my age has at least one child by now and I feel ... kinda like an outsider! Crazy, I know! I am only 24 I have plenty of time.
I have become very aware of the BABY CLUB and I am not invited. It's like once you birth a child you become part of this elite club. ( I have pondered this way too much). A perfect example of this is softball.
At Brandon's soft ball games all the other wives have at least 2 kids and they all sit in a row and they all talk while their kids play. It's just intimidating. Like I should go up to them and say "Hi I am Andrea and I have no kids but I am going to sit here and watch the game and watch all of your kids play. Oh and when you all share stories about your kids, I will have to tell you stories about my niece and nephews because I have no kids of my own."
Maybe I am so aware of these things because I just feel ready! Maybe in the not so distant future it will happen.
Brandon wants kids too but he is still in the "I don't see myself as a dad" stage.
Its a work in progress ;)
Ahhhh I feel so much better that I have gotten that off my chest. THANKS!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Elite Club...MEMBERS ONLY
Posted by AVL at 9:36 PM
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2 comments:
You are so funny! I have to agree totally with you. I remember feeling left out at church when we first moved to AZ because we didn't have kids. It's like we didn't even exist. Once you do have a kid, you will get why you don't hang with people who don't have kids.. I always feel bad being with my friends who don't have kids because I am like a burden or something... 'well, I have to go because it's nap time.' Or something like that. Hope that makes sense. You should still go talk to them though!!
I am excited you feel your nuturing side coming thru! I don't think guys ever can picture themselves a dad until it happens. Hey I am 25 and have 2 kids! 24 isn't that young to have one. I think it's a great age. Honestly , I don't want kids after 30... they are so exauhsting I don't think I could do it if I was older. Plus, your body bouces back quicker the younger you are :)
You know im not in that club either. one day though. you know i dont feel left out. i feel very aware of everyone having babies but i still got friends that dont have kids. all taking their time when it comes you know.
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